$50,000 Reward Leads to Stolen VA Laptop Recovery
Here's how to earn a quick $50,000 profit from identity theft.
[Warning, this is satire based on actual current events
and is not an endorsement to commit identity theft!]
First, get an over worked friend for any non law enforcement
related federal government agency to bring home their laptop
containing social security numbers of millions of law abiding
Especially target government agencies which are headed by
polictical appointees that have publicly demonstrated a
disregard for consumer information security policies
Make sure you tell your friend to get an email reply
from his immediate supervisor relinquishing
them both from responsibility for breaking agency
policy resulting from letting the laptop leave the agency
premises containing sensitive consumer information.
Next, tell your friend to report the laptop "stolen" by thieves
immediately after a suspicious "break in" of his home which
leaves all of his other valuables like jewelry & televisions
Finally, to get your $50,000 payday courtesy of Uncle Sam, you
must contact the authorities with the location of the
suddenly"found" laptop immediately after a "reward"
is posted to the general public for information needed to recover
the stolen consumer data.
You may have to wait 30 - 60 days for the entire process to
work, but it's well worth it as the public embarassment of
the government agency will surely generate the reward you
Oh, by the way, you can enlist your other friends in private
companies as well, but the rewards there are not as immediate.
You may have to simply settle for getting a contract to study
the problem of identity theft or review their information
security procedures after the fact of identity theft.